SINGLEHOOD... ANY WORRIES?

SINGLEHOOD... ANY WORRIES?

I just decided to blog about this topic because of the ‘madness’ and stigma attached to either. The Married wished they were single, regretting why they married; the Singles wished they had married to taste the other side of life. Each believing that the grass is greener on the other side.

 Life is in stages and comes with its attendant challenges at each stage. Before  one reaches puberty, he/she has understood the functions of his various body parts. The body shapes starts changing rapidly due to the activities of hormones. These body changes will definite determine how they react to the opposite sex – each tending to show affinity to the other sex. This is characterised in the adolescence stage where infatuation is at work.

...AND NOW THE CHILD IS GROWN AND HAS MATURED INTO AN ADULT ABLE TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITIES....

Most things in life have two faces:

            The coin has front and back;

            There is the Good and the Bad;

            Life and death;

            Riches and poverty; And...

            Singlehood and marry hood.

There is nothing like in-between in life. The beauty of life is ability to make choices. While one is faced with the challenge of defining destiny, care should be taken on the type of choices to be taken.

Singlehood is not a crime as it has its own attendant  advantages – though the society, parents and peers tend to foist their ideologies down the minds of people, their children and relations. It becomes a taboo to be single especially in Africa where grand and great-grand children are hot cakes for parents. They will stop at nothing to make sure their children marry even when they are not yet prepared for this. Some parents go the extra mile of getting a suitor for their children without their consent or contrary to their wish. One beauty of singlehood is it gives opportunity for self discovery and self confidence building. You have the whole time to mingle and hang out with friends and business associates. You can travel as you like, feed as you like, maintain your house as you like and above all, preserve your heart from emotional crashes associated with marriage.

Absolute liberty enjoyed in singlehood is the main criteria why one may choose so or may choose to marry late to enjoy his/her  youth. While one is on the queue of getting married, you can still develop yourself, trying to make yourself a better person to the society by working on your personal goals and ambitions, learning some skills and knowledge because these may come under attack once married. You may end up jettisoning them or postponing them because of family responsibilities.

On the other hand, marry hood is good and has it’s challenges. You feel confined in marriage. Your time, resources, personal life and opinions may not fully have their courses. There is inter-dependency on both couples. In marriage, there is a sense of belonging, burden sharing and intimacy. Moreover, it provides an avenue for safe sex (provided none of the couple indulges in extra marital affairs).

On the other hand, unhealthy and unhappy marriages are the remote causes of stress and emotional strain among the affected couples.

I close with this: it does not matter the divide you find yourself...

          Be resolute;

          Do not compare yourself with others;

          Focus on your relationship;

          Nurture your friendships and family;

          Be yourself